Coping Skills

What are Coping Sills?

Coping skills are the strategies, techniques, or behaviors that people use to handle stress, challenges, or difficult emotions in their lives.

We all have natural coping skills!

Functional:
A functional coping skill is a healthy strategy or behavior that a person uses to manage stress, emotions, or challenges effectively, helping them feel better, solve problems, and maintain mental and physical well-being over time.

Dysfunctional: A dysfunctional coping skill is an unhealthy or ineffective way of dealing with stress, emotions, or problems that may provide temporary relief but causes harm or makes the situation worse over time.

Ask Yourself:
Is what I'm doing hurting me or anyone around me?
Yes: Stop doing that thing
No: Go For IT!

Signs of Dysfunctional Coping Skills...

Frequent stress or overwhelm

You feel anxious, frustrated, or sad most of the time
Small problems feel unmanageable

Relying on unhealthy habits

Using alcohol, drugs, overeating, or excessive screen time to escape stress
Anger outbursts or lashing out at others

Avoiding problems

Ignoring responsibilities or conflicts instead of addressing them
Procrastinating constantly or “shutting down” emotionally

Feeling stuck or hopeless

Problems seem insurmountable
Difficulty bouncing back after setbacks

Negative impact on relationships or health

Arguing or withdrawing from friends/family
Poor sleep, low energy, or physical health issues

Think of coping skills as a personal toolbox:
some tools work better for some problems than others, so it’s okay to try, test, and keep what works best for you.

Functional (healthy) options

Emotional: Talking to a friend, writing in a journal, practicing gratitude
Behavioral: Exercise, hobbies, deep breathing, meditation
Cognitive: Problem-solving, positive self-talk, breaking tasks into small steps

Dysfunctional (unhealthy) to avoid:

Substance use (alcohol, drugs)
Ignoring problems
Excessive screen time or isolation
Aggression or lashing out

Try Skills in Real Situations

Pick one or two coping strategies at a time
Practice them when you feel stressed
Notice which ones actually help you calm down or solve problems

Reflect and Adjust

Ask yourself:
- Did this skill reduce my stress?
- Did it help me think clearly or feel better?
Keep what works, modify what doesn’t, and experiment with new skills over time

Learn from Trusted Sources

Books, apps, or online platforms (like mindfulness or mental health apps)
Workshops, therapy, or support groups
Evidence-based resources from trusted organizations like National Institute of Mental Health or Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Make Coping Skills a Habit

Practice regularly, not just during crises
Combine strategies: for example, exercise + deep breathing + talking to a friend

Understand Your Stress Triggers

Identify what situations, thoughts, or emotions make you feel stressed or overwhelmed.
Keep a journal for a few days to note when you feel upset and how you react.

Explore Different Types of Coping Skills

Emotional: Focuses on your emotional response rather than the problem itself

Behavioral: Involves active behaviors or habits

Cognitive: Involves thinking patterns and mental strategies

Build a Wellness Toolbox

create a personal set of strategies, activities, and resources you can use to manage stress, emotions, and challenges in a healthy way.

Step One: Who is the box for? You? Your Family? Your marraige? Your friendships?
Step two: Find a Box! Thrift stores, retail stores, antique shops
Step three: Decide through a brainstorming exercise what should go into the box, write it down aon stickies notes and stick them in the box
Step Four: When you need a quick reminder to be mindful, open up the toolbox and do the thing on the sticky note.
Ideas for a toolbox:

Photos
Letters
brochures of places you want to go or have been
Trinkets
Gift Cards
Love letters (to yourself/ from someone)
List of coping skills
List of friends/ family you can call
Sober plan
Life plan
Fidget Toy
Movie passes
Etc...

Stages of Change (Transtheoretical Model):

Precontemplation

You aren’t considering change yet.
You may not see a problem or feel that change is necessary.
Example: A person smokes but doesn’t think it’s harmful.

Contemplation

You are aware of the problem and thinking about change.
You weigh pros and cons but haven’t decided yet.
Example: Someone thinks, “Maybe I should quit smoking, but I’m not sure.”

Preparation

You intend to take action soon and may start making small changes.
You create a plan for change.
Example: Buying nicotine patches, researching quitting programs.

Action

You actively take steps to change behavior.
This requires effort, commitment, and strategies to succeed.
Example: Someone quits smoking and uses coping skills to avoid triggers.

Maintenance

You work to sustain your new behavior over time.
Focus is on preventing relapse and reinforcing healthy habits.
Example: Months after quitting, the person avoids situations that might trigger smoking.

(Hope Not... But...) Relapse

Sometimes, people return to old behaviors.
This is normal and part of the learning process.
Relapse can lead back to any earlier stage, not necessarily failure.

Understanding the stages of change is important because it helps you recognize where you are in the process of making a positive change—whether it’s quitting a bad habit, improving mental health, or building new coping skills. Knowing the stages makes change more realistic, structured, and achievable.

Quick Note:

Change is gradual, not instant.
Each stage requires different strategies and support.
Understanding these stages helps you approach change realistically and successfully.

Motivation:

Motivation is influenced by needs, goals, expectations, personal satisfaction, and external rewards. Different theories explain why people act and persist in various situations.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

People are motivated by a hierarchy of needs:
- Physiological (food, water)
- Safety (security, stability)
- Social (belonging, relationships)
- Esteem (confidence, recognition)
- Self-actualization (personal growth, reaching potential)
Motivation increases as lower-level needs are met.

Herzberg’s Two-Factor Theory

Motivation depends on:
- Hygiene factors: prevent dissatisfaction (salary, work conditions)
- Motivators: increase satisfaction (achievement, recognition, growth)

Self-Determination Theory (SDT)

People are motivated when they feel:
- Autonomy (control over actions)
- Competence (ability to succeed)
- Relatedness (connection to others)
Focuses on intrinsic motivation (personal satisfaction) over external rewards.

Expectancy Theory

Motivation comes from belief that:
- Effort → Performance (Expectancy)
- Performance → Reward (Instrumentality)
- Reward is valuable (Valence)

Drive Theory

Motivation is driven by biological needs to reduce tension.
Example: Hunger motivates eating; thirst motivates drinking.

Goal-Setting Theory

Motivation increases with:
- Specific, challenging, and attainable goals
- Feedback and progress tracking

"Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe, it can achieve"

Motivating Language Theory

Direction-Giving Language
- Provides clarity and guidance about tasks, goals, and expectations
- Helps people understand what to do and how to do it
- Example: “Please complete this task by Friday and follow the new guidelines.”
Empathetic Language
- Shows understanding, concern, and support
- Helps people feel valued and cared for
- Example: “I know this task is stressful, but I believe in you, and I’m here to support you.”
Meaning-Making Language
- Explains why tasks or goals matter
- Helps people see the larger purpose or impact of their life
- Example: “Completing this task on time will ensure I develop skill sets in this area of my life.”

To Do:

Experience the video on the right in 3 ways

1. Watch the video to the end

2. Rewind and: Close your eyes and listen to the end

3. Rewind and: Just listen (don't watch) and write down key points in your journal as you listen to the end

4. Notice the 3 ways you exoerienced the video.

5. Ask yourself, what changed?

Words, sounds, and messages we hear can shape our thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes.

“Hear it, Read it, Write it, Say it”, engages multiple senses and memory pathways.

Challenege:

Change your language by listening to a YouTube motivational video for the next 30 days. If you like it, listen to it. Anything will do.

Motivational videos work because they influence your emotions, thoughts, and behavior all at once, using a combination of visuals, audio, storytelling, and examples of success. They engage multiple parts of your brain that drive motivation and action. Here’s why:

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Coping Skills

Coping skills are the strategies, techniques, or behaviors that people use to handle stress, challenges, or difficult emotions in their lives.

Functional: A functional coping skill is a healthy strategy or behavior that a person uses to manage stress, emotions, or challenges effectively, helping them feel better, solve problems, and maintain mental and physical well-being over time.

Dysfunctional: A dysfunctional coping skill is an unhealthy or ineffective way of dealing with stress, emotions, or problems that may provide temporary relief but causes harm or makes the situation worse over time.

Ask Yourself: Is what I'm doing hurting me or anyone around me? Yes: Stop doing that thing No: Go For IT!

Frequent stress or overwhelm

Relying on unhealthy habits

Avoiding problems

Feeling stuck or hopeless

Negative impact on relationships or health

Think of coping skills as a personal toolbox: some tools work better for some problems than others, so it’s okay to try, test, and keep what works best for you.

​Functional (healthy) options

Dysfunctional (unhealthy) to avoid:

Try Skills in Real Situations

Reflect and Adjust

Learn from Trusted Sources

Make Coping Skills a Habit

Understand Your Stress Triggers

​

Explore Different Types of Coping Skills

Build a Wellness Toolbox

create a personal set of strategies, activities, and resources you can use to manage stress, emotions, and challenges in a healthy way.

Photos

Letters

brochures of places you want to go or have been

Trinkets

Gift Cards

Love letters (to yourself/ from someone)

List of coping skills

List of friends/ family you can call

Sober plan

Life plan

Fidget Toy

Movie passes

Etc...